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Sunshine in 2003

It’s intended to discourage scheduling births, but for someone with an emergency – all that data still applies and wreaked havoc on my mind that I was ruining my child by the necessary procedure I had to have. I’ve never shared any of this with anyone and years later still feel tremendous guilt for them, but this is part of my healing process because I know they had a cause. The guilt I feel for leaving my child is overwhelming and I can’t stop crying. Everyone I know shares stories of the undying love and connection they feel and I never had that. You need for individuals to find love is something that is instilled in us when we are born. We need to be aware of how even scientific facts effect someone suffering from ppd. 45. I hope my admissions do help someone. It was the thought that finally made me realize something was not normal, and I admitted that to myself, and got help.

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